I have to be honest. As far as tragedy is concerned, I’ve lived a pretty charmed life (knock on wood). I still have all my grandparents, my family is generally in good health and we all have a great time when we’re together. I’ve never had to handle a true, unexpected, personal and tragic event. So, when it comes to the serious stuff, I’m not ashamed to admit that I have no idea how to deal. When the unthinkable happened, the only thing I could think to do, late at night, when I couldn’t sleep, was to write about it. Get my thoughts on paper and out of my head so maybe, just maybe, a microscopic amount of rest could be found. So, here I am. And I’m going to tell you about my brother Alex.
Alex was born 2 years and 364 days after me, leaving our birthdays one day apart. April 17th and April 18th to be exact. He was born weighing (wait for it) 9 lbs 10oz. Right??! If you’ve seen my teeny mom you’re amazed by this. I’m told that he had a giant head and smooshed face with a nose that could never be duplicated. And as legend has it, he was placed in my mom’s arms and she and my dad stared at him while jokingly stating, “Hmmm. Well, maybe he’ll have a good personality!”. This sentiment was punctuated by family when they visited and upon laying eyes upon him, stated “Oh! He’s soooo… BIG.” I know to the innocent bystander, this may sound mean, but because only a few months later he blossomed into an adorable kid with big blue eyes and then a handsome adult, it was just funny. We all chuckled each time we heard the birth story and Alex would feign dramatic distraught. We always comforted him by saying that if he’d turned out to be an ugly-duckling, we wouldn’t tell the story at all (too sensitive, ya know?). So, the fact that we felt the need to tell it (a lot) was a compliment in itself. To this explanation, we’d get a partial smile (which was partial only because of his attempt to hide it). And we knew we had him.
Our day-apart birthdays, lead to joint birthday parties at McDonalds (or MikkyD’s, if you will) for the first few years of life. I just always assumed that’s how things were. Didn’t all brothers and sisters have their birthdays together? We always had fun and enjoyed the limelight together (well, maybe he’d let me have the larger percentage. Because he was cool like that.).
Around this period of time, strangers often asked if Alex and I were twins because I was so small for my age and he was so tall. I hated this and was super quick to correct people on the fact that I was THREE years older (humph!! Attitude. Attitude.). Alex loved it, though. He thought it was greatness. Here’s what I mean….
We were practically the same size!
My mom says that when we were younger, Alex followed me around endlessly and would do my bidding as I pleased. I would boss him around and he would do anything I asked happily and willingly. I don’t have clear memories of this but I’m guessing that I thought it was pretty awesome. He smartened up eventually, which is probably why I can’t remember. As kids, Alex and I spent a lot of time together. Building forts in our basement, mostly. Alex loved to play an Army guy named “Tex”. And I was the princess (surprise?) whom he was protecting. We sometimes pretended that the concrete floor was lava with alligators in it (aka: mutant lava-tolerant alligators). We would jump around on the furniture from piece to piece until we were hungry and needed a snack. But, my all-time favorite memory, was Alex’s Urkel impression. He did the BEST Steve Urkel impression. (got any cheeeese??? Did I do thaaaatt???). He pulled his pants up to his chest and imitated the PERFECT stance. It was epic. I made him do it over and over and laughed every time.
My dad recently told this story, which I had forgotten until he mentioned it. Around the age of five (maybe), my parents enrolled Alex in soccer. He was on a team called the Jellybeans with my cousin Anthony. Anthony and Alex were a year apart and two peas in a pod. They played together all the time. Positions were moot on the Jellybeans, which was what made it awesome (and super cute). Both teams just pretty much ran in a pack chasing the ball. On one occasion, Alex ended up in a breakaway with the ball and started running towards the goal with Anthony trailing close behind. The crowd went nuts for Alex. “Go! GO! GO!!”. Then, Anthony stumbled and fell. Upon glancing back and realizing this, Alex promptly forgot about the ball and ran back to help his cousin. The crowd screamed “NO!!! Get the ball!!!” But Alex had already forgotten about that. He’d rather give up the glamour of making his first goal to help his cousin. No man left behind. This was just Alex. And how he was his entire life.
Enter our pre-/teen years. We pretty much argued like cats and dogs. Never over anything serious, though. It was always just us pushing each others buttons. And no one knew how to push my buttons like Alex. He could send me from happy to screaming in 5 seconds flat. And here we stayed for a few years. Bickering. Driving our poor parents mad.
Then, I graduated high school and moved to Baton Rouge to attend LSU. A few years later, Alex started at UNT. And somehow we became friends again. We could be in the same space and get along. It was nice. And I always knew that a conversation which started with “So, you’re a girl, right?” meant he needed girlfriend advice. Which I was happy to give. Not that I’m an expert. But, it was nice to know that he wanted my advice.
Ever since his days as “Tex”, Alex had wanted to be in the US Special Forces. After receiving his Mechanical Engineering degree from UNT he joined the military. First, the Navy in an attempt to become a SEAL, and when that didn’t work out, he transferred to the Army to become a Green Beret. It took years of working towards that goal, and many, many trials and tribulations along the way, but he finally earned his Green Beret status….
He spent several years in training, so we only got to see him when he was on leave.
After our son Lucas was born, Alex couldn’t wait to see him and it just so happened that his leave began two days after Lucas’s birth.
He was so proud to have procured his new baby nephew his very first foam battle ax along with a drum set to drive his mommy crazy (like any uncle should). And I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and crack up laughing in defeat when Al sent me a video (while I was at work and completely helpless) of him teaching my then-one-year-old baby boy how to do “see food” while he was eating. He stated that it was his responsibility as an uncle to corrupt my son, so he was simply doing his duty.
Alex was always really helpful whenever he was in town. If I ever needed a babysitter, or help with something in particular, he would make it happen. Even though I lived over an hour away. Even if he had plans. He always helped me out. I sometimes felt guilty, because I knew that he was only in town for a short while. I tried not to ask too often for this reason, but if I ever did ask (not knowing what his plans were), his answer more often than not was some version of “Well, I was supposed to do ____. But I dont have to. Ill just be late/go another time.” And he’d help me over continuing with his previous plans. I was always really touched by this gesture. Always.
The absolute BEST, though, was last year on Christmas Eve. Alex had purchased a Santa suit. And not just any Santa suit. The GOOD Santa suit. He said he wanted it to last for years. He dressed up after Christmas Eve dinner to visit Lucas as Santa. Lucas was terrified, but soon warmed up (sort of) when “Santa” presented him with a shiny green car. It was great. And I loved that Alex wanted to do this for Lucas. What a terrific uncle. Here’s a little glimpse….
This was as close as Lucas would get. I love the expression on his face, too. Somebody was not too certain about Santa Claus.
Then, he met Hope…
…And I knew he’d met someone special. Instead of calling me to ask for advice about her, he called to TELL ME about her, which was a huge change. He seemed content. And even in April (or maybe it was May) only a few months after they began dating, he was already planning to fly her in to Texas to see us come September. I was thrilled and couldn’t wait to meet her. When September came, she didn’t disappoint. She was sweet, pretty, smart, athletic, down to earth… Everything I’d hoped for him. And I couldn’t wait for him to get through his pending stint in Afghanistan so that MAYBE I’d get the news that I’d be gaining a sister. Maybe. I’d hoped anyways.
Then, Sunday November 17th, 2013 came. It was a normal day like any other when there was a knock at the door. I almost didn’t answer it because we get a lot of solicitors and I didn’t recognize the car outside (and we need a peephole, seriously.). I asked who was there and the men stated that it was in regards to Staff Sgt. Alex A. Viola. I threw open the door and there before me stood two very tall men in military uniforms . Immediately, my brain started repeating the mantra “Please, just tell me he’s hurt. Please, just tell me he’s hurt….”. But no dice. They’d come to notify me that while on foot patrol earlier that morning, Alex had stepped on an IED (improvised explosive device) and had died at a hospital in Kandahar. “…Succumbed to his wounds” were the exact words they used. I can still hear the chaplain saying it. “He was rushed to a hospital in Kandahar where he succumbed to his wounds.”
I immediately lost it, of course. Completely. I mean, how could this happen?? To ALEX?? This can’t be real. This can’t POSSIBLY be real. But it was.
November 17th was a dark day. The worst. My baby brother.
I never told him what an amazing guy I thought he was. What a great uncle. I bragged about him all the time. Behind his back. I don’t think he even knew it. So, if there’s one thing I can say, it’s this….
Go tell your loved ones how you feel about them. NOW. They deserve to hear it. And you never know when your last chance to tell them will be. So, do it now. Never did I think that I’d never get to speak with my brother again. Never in a million years. I took for granted that he’d be home in a few months safe and sound without a second thought. And I was wrong. I was so wrong. And it kills me that I didn’t tell him the things I should’ve.
So, with that in mind…. Alex, if you’re up there, reading with your brand new state of the art Heaven-version iPad, know this…. You were a great little brother and I am so, so proud of you. I’ll miss you always and will accost Lucas with pictures and stories of you constantly. He will grow up knowing who you are and feeling like he knows you all his life. I love you lots and will always have you in my thoughts. And thank you for everything. For everything you’ve done for me. For Lucas. For Mom and Dad. For making me laugh and giving me a hard time. You’re largely responsible for my even HAVING a sense of humor. And of course, thank you for defending our country. I’d be lucky if I possessed an ounce of the bravery you did.
Here are a few more pics of/with my handsome brother…
Now, I know this post isn’t home or DIY related, but I needed to share my brother with the world (or, rather, with my three readers) because he deserves a loud and proud shout-out. He gave his life for his country. I’m not sure what’s more courageous than that. The least I could do was honor him in a post. So, I hope I did his fun, witty, caring personality justice. I really, really hope I did. Because he deserves every bit of it. And will never, ever be forgotten.
(If you’d like to read a follow-up to this post which I wrote for our local K Magazine, you can find it HERE.)
Operation Home 
What a beautiful tribute to your brother. I was deeply impressed with all the love you expressed. Life is very brief and it always pays to appreciate all of our loved ones. Thank you for writing this and God bless.
Oh honey…by far this is the very best tribute to the most outstanding guy. You are such a wonderful writer, making me laugh and remembering Alex when he was that darling boy and growing into such an impressive man and bringing tears to my eyes. Christina did not know until now how you found out. Am so so sorry. Can only wish that I and entire family had been there to hold you. God give you all the strength to get through this difficult time. But Christina…Alex always knew how you felt about him. He was our Angel during his lifetime and he will be our Angel forever. And he will be over your shoulder watching out for you and who knows…maybe a little teasing? Love u always..hang in there..keep strong and my love to all
Aunt Sera
This is echoing the previous comments, but I also want to say how beautiful this is, and how smart and healthy you are for grieving this way, in a productive way. You have incredible strength, girl! Just like your brother, you have much more bravery than you give yourself credit for.
I know I’m a lousy excuse for one, but you can always count on me to be your sister. Love you, kiddo.
I saw this as a link on my facebook page and fought back the tears while reading. Your brother sounds like a wonderful man, and I thank him for his ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for sharing your story and may God be with you in the days ahead.
I went to school with Alex and, though I didn’t know him well, I remember him. Still, his death hits close to home. It’s weird, but even when you don’t know someone personally, their proximity still means something. When I read about Alex’s death, my heart went out to all of you–family and friends–but I don’t know quite how to grieve for people I don’t know. Anyway, thanks for putting a story to Alex’s face for me. I’m thinking of all of you, so sorry for your family’s loss.
Your brother went to school with me. He was always kind & knew how to make me laugh as well. The news of his death shocked me. His memory will never be lost. You and your family are in my prayers.
My condolences to you and your family Christina.
–Stephen Hood
Amazing. So sorry for your loss.
Your story came up on my newsfeed. So I don’t know you or your brother. But it has really moved me. I’m praying tonight for you and your family. Thant you got sharing such s beautiful tribute. Your brother sounds like a wonderful guy I’m so sorry for your loss. And that Lucas will grow up without his wonderful uncle x
Make that four readers (it does look like you have more than four though)! Actually I have been a secret reader of your Operation Home posts for quite a while. Oh no, the cat’s out of the bag now! Seriously, I really get a kick out of seeing what you guys are up to. You do such a great job of putting together the projects, stories, pictures, etc.
What a great tribute to your brother Alex. Although I didn’t get the chance to know him, I wish I could have. You paint a picture of a truly wonderful, loving brother – a great guy who was a kind, loving person who put you, and others, well-being before his own. A hero for sure in my book! We love you guys and you are very much in our thoughts.
So sorry….great write up from a loving sis….my son Brian played hockey and went to KHS together with Alex. We are all so sad….it’s like we have lost a family son as well…..
Karyl Inscho
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sweet little brother. I didn’t know Alex well, but I do remember my first few months at Grapevine Crossfit (back when it was on Dooley), and he was always in our morning class. He seemed like a quiet, gentle soul. This is a beautifully written post. I know he’s so proud of you 🙂 Please know my family and I have prayed for y’all when we heard the news. Nancy Givens – Southlake
Christina what a touching and loving tribute to Alex……
Christina, this is a beautiful piece you’ve written for your brother. My heart just breaks for your family. I can’t imagine the pain you all are going through. My prayers are being sent up for your family.
Perfect♥
Our thoughts & prayers to you & your family & friends. We are fellow Texans stationed at Eglin Air Force Base right now. We don’t know your brother but it’s heartbreaking to hear we lost a fellow service member. He is a true hero serving his country and making the ultimate sacrifice. May God comfort y’all in your time of need.
Prayers, friend.
Thank you for taking a moment to write a touching story about your brother. You don’t know me, I’ve never read your blog, but I’m here today because people in this world care about you and your story and they are passing it along. Take peace in knowing there are other people, strangers, who are thankful for your brother. Bless you and your family in the years to come learning to love him in a new way. Blessings to you brother. May you always feel his love.
Prayers to you and your family.
Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing! We thank you for his service and send healing to you and your family. He will never be forgotten!
Love,
The Dirks
Just beautiful! May God be with your family in your time of heartbreak, and a heartfelt thank you to your brother for what he gave for our country. Prayers.
Christina thank you for sharing this with all of us. It is simply a moving and beautiful tribute to Alex. I cried through the whole thing. I KNOW he saw you write every word. I am so very sorry for your incredible loss. Your brother was truly special and so are you. I made his picture my screen saver and I told my classes all about him. I said I hoped they would all set an example of being the best they could be every day like Alex did from 6th grade when he was in my class and throughout the rest of his life. Please know that you and your family are in my constant prayers. Kris Heffner
I didn’t know your brother but am a fellow KHS alum. What a beautiful post about your brother, he must be so proud of you. Lots of prayers for comfort to you and your family. Thank you for your sacrifice to our country.
I saw this link on Facebook, and though I do not know you or your family, I knew that I must read what you had posted because I too lost my younger brother three years ago. I sobbed during this entire post for several reasons: 1) I felt like I related to everything you posted, and 2) because I truly felt like I knew your brother after reading this. I am so grateful for his service to this country, and I am sending many well wishes to you and your family! Those of us who cannot be with here in this physical world, live on in the memories of those who love them! You WILL always feel his love, it is everywhere!
I never met your brother. However he was part of the Keller Hockey family. Therefore, he was a part of my family. Thank you Alex for serving our country. God Bless your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. The story of your brother was very moving, and I am praying for your family, your parents, and his girlfriend as you mourn.
Oh Christina! What a beautiful tribute to Alex. I have no doubt that he was there, looking over your shoulder – jogging your memory and laughing with you as you wrote your story. I laughed because I remembered many of the memories you wrote and I cried … because I now mourn for the future memories which were supposed to include Alex and continue the chain of happy memories that document the lives and times of an entire family. Yes … we are family … one blessed with 29 years of having Alex in our lives … and all the wonderful memories that he has left for us … to give us the strength and courage to carry on … all the time, keeping our beloved Alex in our hearts forever. I miss him. I thank him. I am proud of my nephew. Our Alex.
What a beautiful tribute to your brother. I am so sorry that your family is now living in a world without your sweet and loving Alex. I met him at CrossFit and although I never really knew him, I am haunted by his passing. I cannot imagine the loss your family feels. Alex Viola is a hero who touched many lives and will be remembered. Prayers to you, and the friends and family of your brother, Alex. May the wonderful memories you have of Alex be a reminder of the love you all shared.
That was absolutely beautiful Christina, thank you so much for sharing. Praying for you and your family!
I sat by Alex during art class at KHS. He was exactly how you described him – nice to everyone and very helpful. Brothers are so special. I’m sure he knew how much you loved him and bragged about him! 🙂
I’m so sad to hear this I live a few blocks from your dad I met him this summer at a hot rod tour and he talked a lot about Alex and how amazing he was , god bless you and your family it really is hard being so close neighbors , my younger brother is serving with navy , it takes great people to serve us !
Alex sounds like a great man much appreciated !
I can barely type through my tears. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I have a younger brother in the Army. He is currently stationed in Afghanistan. It’s his 4th deployment. I am praying for you.
Great job, Christina. You did yourself and all your family proud. Now you can get some sleep.
Christina what an absolutely beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing. I lost my brother in Iraq 7 years ago. My cousins are good friends of the family. Call the Forslunds if you would like to talk sometime. I’m more than happy to help you go through the same steps we have been through and still are going through. Just know you and your whole family are in my prayers for peace, strength, endurance, and comfort. God bless you! Rhonda Jimmerson
Your story came up on my Facebook feed and I’m so glad I read it! Thank you so much for highlighting the special bond between brothers and sisters. My brother and I have so many similarities with you. We, too, were disgusted when people thought we were twins and his Urkel impression entertained for many years longer than it should have. I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine the pain, but I’m so glad you shared. People like myself need to remember that special bond so we take nothing for granted.
I saw this circulating on Facebook and had to read. This is the most beautiful tribute to your brother and the love you shared as siblings. The pictures and the words are so very deeply touching. For those of us who didn’t know him, we now feel like we did. He clearly was an amazingly loving and caring person. We were blessed to have such a man representing our country. God bless you and your family during this time. Thank you for sharing your brother with us.
Christina, I am so sorry for your loss.
Our Keller Hockey Club Varsity game vs Arlington 11-21-13 was played in honor of Alex Viola.
In the locker room all players proudly placed AV #7 stickers on their helmets to honor him.
After warm ups all Keller players stood at center ice and the following was read.
We want to take a moment to remember a special Keller Hockey Alumni, player, Alex Viola. Alex was a brave Army soldier and member of the Elite Special Forces Group. Alex lost his life last Sunday while serving in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Alex was a 2002 graduate of Keller High School and one of the players on our very first Keller Hockey team. Alex played forward, proudly wearing #7 from 1997-2002.
Please keep Alex’s family and friends in your thoughts and prayers as they move through this painful process.
May we NEVER forget the cost of our freedom and the price many have paid.
Let’s remember Alex with a moment of silence.
The National Anthem played and at the end all players sticks hit the ice.
This showed up on my fbook feed as well and I am so thankful it did. I have a little brother and sister and we share similar bonds. With that being said, I cannot begin to imagine how you feel right now. I can only say be thankful you were so close to such a wonderful man and look back on these memories with happiness. I did not know him personally but I can see that he touched so many lives and that he is the kind of guy that I like to think is defending me and my country. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope your son will be so proud to have such an amazing uncle. ❤
Prayers for you and your family. Christina, thanks for sharing, that was truly beautiful!
Prayers and love to you and your family!
Christina, I totally know your feelings. June 28, 2012 I got news that my son had been killed by one of his own soldiers. Never expected this after numerous tours in Iraq & Afghanistan & then this happens in the US on a military base. Your story about your brother is amazing & I feel this will help your coming to terms with his passing a little easier.
Christina thank you so much for sharing your life with Alex because I missed a lot after you moved to TX. I have a lot of the early years in my mind like as you described him at birth Ha !! But to see as I told your Dad the other day to see Alex as a man was like seeing a handsome version of Frank !! LOL For me to say I was so Proud of Alex and his accomplishments would be an understatement !! And I would like to say something to Alex now ( Thank You For Serving and Defending our Freedom ) Amen To You Alex Viola !!! RIP PS. Alex New How Much You Cared and Loved Him !! Why Else Would He Had Dropped Everything To Help You ? Because You Where His Sis !!! Love Barry God Bless You and The Family
I had the distinct honor of serving with Alex. I swam with him in Key West at dive school, and spent nearly 6 weeks finding out what an amazing man, solider, and person he was. I am so very sorry for your loss and i hope you can find solace in the fact that he had so many friends that viewed him in the exact same light that you do; as an amazing unique person who has touched the hearts and souls of so many people. My deepest condolences for your loss, your brother and your family will always be honored and loved.
– Forrest Davis
My friend posted your piece on Facebook. I just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss, and know that your brother will never be forgotten (no one could forget that handsome face:). God bless your family.
The Allen Family (Chesapeake, VA)
I am in tears reading this, not knowing you, but feeling a small portion of your grief. Thank you to you and your family for your sacrifice for our country’s freedom. What a tremendous loss you have suffered–Alex sounded like an amazing guy and your tribute to him was beautifully-written. I am so sorry and my prayers are with you. As you remember your brother, there is a wonderful organization called “Wear Blue: Run to Remember”, where participants run in loving memory of those lost in the service of our nation. We run in honor of fallen comrades of my husband, who served in the Army. You may find comfort there–it is a top-notch group of individuals. God bless you in the coming days.
Christina,
I am so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to your brother was beautifully written. I’m sure he’d be so proud. I didn’t know your brother, but know one of the men in his unit in Afghanistan. I hope your memories of Alex and his choice to serve our country bring you peace.
Ginger Letchford
What a beautiful tribute to an honorable man and the love you have for him. Thank you for sharing with all of us.
Such a beautiful post.
Sending thoughts, prayers and hugs to your family. My God give you and your family peace and comfort.
This has touched so many people and is truly fitting as your brother touched so many as well. Thank you for sharing him with us. Prayers to you and your family.
What a beautiful tribute to your brother…you too sound like a wonderful being. My heart aches for you and your family and I send love and prayers to you all.